Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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