brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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