Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
