In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
