She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
