forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
