I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
