it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
should my penis look like a turkey
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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