How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
