we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i would one night stand the shit outta him
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
