I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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