i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
