Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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