At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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