We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
