Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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