I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
