I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
