pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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