My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
