Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize