Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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