Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
