i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
