TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
