I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
