Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
