@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We had sex on a dog bed..
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
