i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
