Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
