do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
