**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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