This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize