we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So gin and wine won't be happening again
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize