The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
no you cant smoke seaweed
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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