some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
