It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize