Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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