I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
