It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize