Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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