I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
