I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
