Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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