I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
