They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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