I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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