just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
