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you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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