if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
