It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
