White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
