ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
