We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
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