yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We have started to decorate penises.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
