Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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