i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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