i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
