she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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