I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
