She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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