first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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