I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
